Monday, June 18, 2012

Understanding...

MS can affect various people differently. It is a pretty simple concept really, but not simple to understand. Some people may think someone with MS is perfectly fine when they truly may not be.  To be honest with you, I don’t read a lot about MS because (frankly) it scares the crap out of me. I know how severe it can be and I know how “mild” it can be. I know that I ride on the “mild” side and I am very content being right where I am and grateful that this is where I am.

Truth be told though, I can sit here and pretend that my symptoms are not present, but they are. I have hand numbness. I have annoying floaters in my right eye that are not “sight” related but are certainly MS related. They are what they are; MS symptoms.  It is my hope and my prayer that these symptoms will leave and be on their merry way and not slowly get worse.

Now, there are really 2 ways to be sure this does not happen:

Medical route: anyone who knows me knows that I try to do EVERYTHING as naturally as possible. With that said though, we live in world with medicine and God has put it there when needed. My Neurologist wanted me to have 3 MRI’s (neck, spine and brain); the results of these will come in this week I hope.  After these MRI’s we will know if I have to do a week’s worth of 1 hour steroid infusions.  I will have this done only if there are NEW active lesions.  I will only do this to make sure that the symptoms do not get worse. Conversely, if there are no new active lesions, I will continue to do what I am doing and Matt and I may even try to have another baby, but that is a conversation for another day.  (I am not currently taking any medication for the MS because the only medications that I would ever trust and that my doctor will prescribe are the ones that have been on the market for a long time. These are DAILY injectables and I…am ALL SET.)

Natural route: continue with my Shakeology meal replacement (www.myshakeology.com/gettingitback4) and keep exercising to keep the weight off.  Exercise is a natural medicine for EVERYTHING!  Again, of course medicine has its place in this world and thank God for that, but exercise is FREE, natural and it helps!  I’ve told you this before, but when I was first diagnosed the doctors said that I should be in a wheelchair given the number of lesions I had on my spine and brain. Well, because I was exercising at the time and eating right I was walking and STILL AM!

Had I not lost the 62 pounds I gained during pregnancy…well…I don’t want to think of what could have happened.

Today during my brain MRI I got very overwhelmed with emotion, but I couldn’t express it because well…I was in an MRI machine and I couldn’t move.  For those of you who don’t know what one sounds like, mute your TV, click here and turn up your volume ALL THE WAY UP and picture lying there for 2 hours one day and 45 minutes another, then close your eyes and picture it 10X louder: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8oI9YnhPNcQ

So, during this pleasant noise the tech came over the sound system and said, okay, this test is 2 minutes and it is the loudest. I’m thinking “fantastic” (sarcastic). Then all of a sudden one of my go to “shake it” songs came on over the radio playing into the machine: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_N_xGQ3QKlk I composed myself as the “bed” started to shake and the banging of the MRI continued. I tried and tried to block it out and pretend that this wasn’t me in the machine. I kept “dancing” in my mind to the song, but the “woe is me thought” of how could an otherwise healthy young woman need to deal with this and then the song was over. Then the DJ came on and over the radio I could hear, “and Jack Osborn has been diagnosed with MS…” Really?!?! What in the world is going on?! 

MS is not prejudice. It will hit anyone at any time and it does not care; it is just like any other terrible disease out there. It simply does not care who you are. You can be healthy or someone who isn’t in tip top health. It does not care. You can be female or male, old or young. It does not care. You can be a mom, a dad, a grandmother, a grandfather or a child. It does not care.

I had someone say to me the other day, “Well Melissa, you are one determined woman. You’re kind of hard core and other people don’t always go so crazy with things and dedication.”  Well…thanks???  Honestly though, why do people think that? What I do for my health is no different than what anyone else does/should be doing. 

Yes, I take my health very seriously because, bluntly, my life depends on it. Your life depends on how you treat yourself. What I do now will define what happens to me in the future. It pains me to think like this, but it will honestly determine whether or not Matt will have to build a handicap ramp outside our home someday. Do you think that is dramatic? Well, it may be, but it is our reality.

MS is (in my opinion) no less severe or more severe than high cholesterol, diabetes, depression, etc… All of these ailments have very serious medical consequences.  I want to ask those of you out there with these and/or other ailments what you are waiting for to get control of your health; as much control as possible that is because we all know that “our control” is limited. What is stopping you??? Don’t let life get away from you; take responsibility and make your health a priority because once you do that, your feeling of accomplishment and pride will OVERFLOW to other parts of your life; your love life, family relationships, work, etc…

Tonight when I came home, I spent time with Nicholas & Matt, had dinner and changed into my pajamas. I started to get ready to watch some TV and relax, but I had not yet done my workout. I read on one of my group pages on FB that someone had just gone for a run and it was so beautiful outside.  It was 7:45 and I did NOT want to run. I was/am exhausted, mentally tired from this morning and I just wanted to relax, but I was not going to give in to the temptation of my couch! I laced up my sneakers and went out for a run…guess what the first song was… http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_N_xGQ3QKlk  :) So glad I went!

Nighty Night!!

Melissa
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